After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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