you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize