im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
