Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
