I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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