i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
