Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
