You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
