Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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