Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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