last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
