Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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