if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
