I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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