1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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