She is in my trunk
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
