You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
