jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
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