i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
