waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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