Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize