mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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