Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We are all done wearing pants today
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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