Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
