my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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