do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
