Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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