Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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