True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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