just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
