The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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