Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
