Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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