So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
