Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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