She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
