i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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