Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
