never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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