Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
