Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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