I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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