I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
