haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
