IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i think my cat just said my name.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
