I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize