I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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