We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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