pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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