im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
