I cannot find my penis.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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