Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
