wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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