Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
