69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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