I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
