idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
