So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
